My father took it almost as a matter of
principle that most problems, if ignored, simply went away.
Memory loss is the key to human reproduction.
One of the many things I dislike about being a
grown-up is the compulsion to have a purpose in life.
New parents are not rational; they worry about
all sorts of things that it makes no sense to worry about. [When was the last
time you saw a full-grown adult crawling around the streets on all fours?]
At some point in the last few decades, the
American male sat down at the negotiating table with the American female
and - let us be frank - got fleeced.
corollary to the rule about the fool at the
poker table, that if you don't know who your wife is pissed off at, it's you.
The fact, as opposed to the theory, of life
with a small child is an amoral system of bribes and blackmails. You do this
for me, you get that. You don't do this, you don't get that.
that official statistics dramatically
overstated the incidence of sudden infant death (...) because most of then were
probably murder.
Maternal love may be instinctive, but paternal
love is learned behavior.
A month after she was born, I would have felt
only an obligatory sadness if she had been rolled over by a truck. Six months
or so later, I'd thrown myself in front of the truck to save her.
1.
Maternal propaganda. 2. Gift for mimicry. 3.
Tendency to improve with age.
All the little things that you must do for a
helpless creature to keep it alive cause you to love it.
The first rule of fatherhood is that if you
don't see what the problem is, you are the problem.
The origin of vanity is not the desire to be
admired by others but the need to be in charge. The other things just follows
from it.
On of the many things about fatherhood is how
it has perverted my attitude toward risk.
(neurotic, money, help other, flying, death)
It's astonishing how much trouble we take to
prevent our children from seeing the world as it is.
Never underestimate your own insignificance.
For the whole of Stage1, a father
performs no task more onerous than seeming busy when he isn't. In Stage2, he
becomes, in a heartbeat, chauffeur, cook, nurse, gofer, personal shopper, Mr
Fixit, sole provider and single parent.
The current wisdom holds that if you seem to be
not all that interested in your new child the first time the older ones come to
see him, you might lessen their suspection that he's come to pick their
pockets.
A family is like a stereo system: a stereo
system is only as good as its weakest component, and a family is only as happy
as its unhappiest member.
"Do you know the data on siblings across
species?" "Half the time they kill each other".
What you know is less important than who you
know.
The problem with lucking out with your children
is that your children don't appreciate their luck - and the lucky feeling is
more than a half of the pleasure.
Like dreams, these fatherhood moments are
easily forgotten and no doubt also a lot more interesting to the teller than to
anyone else. But when they're forgotten, their lessons, such as they are, are
lost. The vacuum winds up being filled by 'experts' on child rearing.
The final rule of fatherhood: if you're not
bothered by it, or disturbed by it, or messed up from it, you're probably doing
something wrong that will mess up your kids. You're probably doing something
wrong anyway, but it's okay.
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